Willy Waddles the Giant Chocolate Penguin: RIP

About 8 months ago Willy Waddles waddled on to the Penguin Place scene in a big way. A very big way. When the good folks at the candy wholesaler where I get our Penguin Gummies from sent me an image of their new chocolate candy bar named Willy Waddles I jumped all over it.  I love chocolate, I love penguins, the jpeg image of Willy looked great and he was 14 ounces!   Not a bad little chocolate penguin snack.  Then he arrives and he’s in the order of nearly a foot and a half tall!   Seems Willy is hollow, like an Easter Chocolate Bunny and I neglected to ask how big he was (I assumed candy bar size).  So now I’m stuck with a whole bunch of giant chocolate penguins that don’t fit in any USPS Priority Mail boxes, so they have to ship via pricey UPS and since they’re hallow they will most likely break during shipping (as about 20% did).  Plus, they’re taking up valuable storage space. But, after selling some and giving some away to various local charities the last Willy Waddled out of Penguin Place to of all places Idaho this past Tuesday, and just in time before the warm weather would begin to melt to poor penguin.   That is I sold the last one except a Willy who’s wing was broken.   So, what do a couple of chocolate loving penguin people do when presented with a 16″ inch tall chocolate penguin.  Yum, yum, eat em up.  Except Willy proved to be a formidable chocolate mountain indeed.   We started from the top down and perhaps it was the curse of Willy, but after eating his face as I was doing my best Silence Of The Lambs impersonation I headed straight for the bathroom not to return for quite some time.  Michelle wisely was pacing herself and working on the torso and fortunately didn’t feel any ill effects.  The next day I was rejuvenated and we began to nosh on the wings and torso, slowly working our way down.  This time I had some milk to help with the process, and by night-time with the family asleep I sat down in front of the tv with my rented DVD of Black Dynamite with the lower half of Willy and some cold milk.  But, a half hour later the thrill was gone and I realized that Willy had gotten the better of me and my stomach.  I declared No Mas, and discarded the carcass of Willy Waddles in the trash in the same way Claude Raines tossed that bottle of Vichy Water into the can at the end of Casablanca.  It took a lot of will power to just dump what was left of Willy in the garbage, but had I continued on with my foolish chocolate penguin campaign I surely would have regretted it. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but some day soon and for the rest of my life.  Ah Willy.  We’ll always have Paris.

Eric, Michelle and Willy Waddles


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3 Responses to “Willy Waddles the Giant Chocolate Penguin: RIP”

  1. Tanya Says:

    Where did you buy Willie?

  2. lifestyle Says:

    It is in point of fact a nice and helpful piece of information. I am satisfied that you just shared this useful information with us.
    Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

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