Captive Penguins Forced to Root For Flyers

With the Penguins facing off against the Flyers in the first round of the playoffs it’s interesting to note how the real penguins of the Philadelphia area are holding up under the circumstances.  Should these penguins, with their allegiance to the local team in question be sent to some off site facility until the series is over, or should they be left alone to support their natural team?  Well, the folks at the Adventure Aquarium in Camden, New Jersey (10 minutes from Philadelphia) have come up with another, more devious “solution”.   You see, aquarium staff have come up with a temporary plan that has outraged Penguin fans and animal rights activists the world over.  Beginning today, the names of the penguins at the aquarium will be re-named  effective through the end of the series. With the penguins now being forced to answer to the names of various Flyers players like Claude Giroux, Scott Hartnell, Ilya Bryzgalov, Sean Couturier, Danny Briere, Kimmo Timonen, Bayden Schenn, Wayne Simmonds and even the traitors (ex-Penguins) Max Talbot and Jaromir Jagr.  They’ve even been forced to be photographed with Flyers merchandise!  To the Penguin Post this seems like prisoners being forced to swear allegiance to the enemy under fear of torture.  It’s a clear violation of the zoo and aquarium Geneva Convention. According to Kim Walker, Public Relations Manager for Adventure Aquarium, the personalities of the African penguins will be matched with that of a Flyer player as part of the re-naming process.  Really?!  Who ever heard of a cheap shot penguin?   To make this even more outrageous, the penguins’ current home, “Penguin Island“, will become “Flyers Island” and covered in Flyers team paraphernalia. It still remains to be seen how stressful all this will be to Adventure Aquarium’s penguins and how they will be able to deal with being manipulated into “supporting” the Flyers, especially if the series goes six or seven games.  But, I for one know that even with the name changes, overt manipulation and blatant Flyer merchandise placements, who these penguins are really pulling for, and I’m sure when it’s all said and done there’s going to be a lot of Flyers merchandise covered in penguin poop.

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